We all search for happiness. Everything we do, everything we feel, every word we speak is aimed at bringing us closer to a state of bliss. Many of us believe that happiness is something that happens by chance. It’s easy to become jealous when we see people living a happy life. We can easily assume that they’ve always had it easy and that somehow they’ve escaped the less desirable elements of life.
But the chances are that they’ve recognized something difficult to grasp: you must fight for true happiness. Here are a few things to think about to get closer to happiness.
Memory
If you’ve ever hit a rough spot in your life, you’ve probably since heard the phrase ‘Don’t dwell on the past.’ But our power to recall is one of the greatest assets we have in altering our mind frame. An inability to engage with our memory can hold us back and have very damaging results.
Memories are often changeable, and we attach different meanings to them at different times. So do recall memories, even painful ones, but allow yourself to see them in a new light.
Present
Having said that, it is also important to live in the now. If you spend your time dwelling things that are beyond control you lead yourself towards stress. Being present means that you can help yourself be okay with what may lay ahead. You can’t completely destroy the fear of what may come, but with enough willpower, that which we fear can be made to seem small. Whatever challenge you may face, visualize the moment as a thrilling waterslide that you must hurl yourself towards in order to get the best out of it.
Others
You cannot escape the fact that life would be very dull indeed were it not for other people. Our mood and well-being are completely linked with those that we associate with. You cannot please all the people all the time and conflicts are inevitable. But seeking to find de-escalation with these people is the best you can do. If you listen attentively, adopt a nonjudgmental attitude and forgive without condition, you’ll find your relationships improve. Loving environments take work and vulnerability from everyone involved, and sometimes it takes someone like you to make the first step.
Time
Time is a resource that seems to elude most people. It is a slippery thing that somehow always gets away. But once you learn how to control your time, you’ll find it much easier to do the things that make you happy.
Take a blank calendar and before you do anything else with fill in the dates which you know will make you happy, like birthdays, holidays and other anniversaries that will make smile. Make time for your passions.
Lifestyle
Our lifestyle choices changer as we get older. What made you happy when you were a teenager may not make you happy now. There is always room for change. If you’ve led a life that has meant you’ve only ever eaten junk food, drunk beer and watched TV – it may have worked for you at one point but ask yourself – does it now? You may find losing that weight, giving up that bad habit will be just the achievement you need to feel the happiness you seek.
Conversely, if you’ve worked since you left school, exercised every day and rushed about trying to hold your life together through stress, maybe its time to slow down and enjoy your life. There is nothing wrong with daydreaming.
Once you let go of the destructive habits that have limited your growth and create habits that create happiness, it will become easier to find joy in everything you do.
Author
Nora Mork is a lifestyle journalist at UK Writings and Essay Roo. She enjoys doing yoga, reading American literature, and writing columns for magazines and blogs, such as Boom Essays.
Our lives will always have difficulties that others may never understand. We should never forget that even though others may want to reach out to us and help us, the only person who can ever care more about you is yourself: self-care.
To take care of ourselves, we have to know what it is we should be focusing on. In this mini-guide, we look at the 7 essential tips that can help you be the best version of you to tackle life’s great difficulties.
1. Express Yourself Freely Through Writing
Sometimes we need a healthy outlet for our overwhelming emotions. Other times, we want to entertain some thoughts, bounce new ideas, and plan our life.
Journaling gives us a chance to listen and think to ourselves. As a tool, it allows us to speak our minds without the influence of social norms, criticism, or judgment. Deliberate writing has shown a positive effect on reducing anxious feelings and depression. It’s why we see this method repeatedly preached as one of the great ways to relieve stress and practice self-care.
You can learn more about journaling and how you can start one on the URMC website.
2. Enjoy the Sunshine and Fresh Outdoor Air
Without movement, there is no life. We should always be on the go so our bodies can stay active and our minds can be well. The body needs exercise to keep itself healthy and happy.
Simply walking outdoor can provide a lot of benefits to both your physical and mental well-being. You can adopt an outdoor activity like hiking and sailing to make life a little more interesting.
Learn more about walking and exercise, visit HelpGuide.org.
3. Sleep Well and Sleep Consistently
When we aren’t taking good care of ourselves, sleep is usually one of the first things to go out the window. Our sleep is unsurprisingly tied to many aspects of our lives.
When we throw our sleep out the window, we also throw our internal clocks out of sync. We might need the next day or the entire week to get back to our normal selves.
If we sleep well, we can better control our mood and emotions, remember things better, and it also plays a large role in our physical recover as the body makes repairs during this time of rest. Getting better sleep is amazing self-care
You can learn more about sleep and the best practices of it at MySleepyFerret.
4. Eat Well and Keep Healthy Food Around
Food provides the fuel for our body and mind. It gives us the energy to get things done throughout the day. When we put the right food in our mouths, we can feel better and have the energy to accomplish what we set our minds on doing.
We can’t tell you what exactly your diet should consist of since everybody is different. Some research is necessary and speaking to your family doctor or nutritionist is important.
There are some guidelines we can use to help us think critically about what we are eating and what our eating patterns are like. According to the U.S. dietary guidelines of the Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, we seem to be taking in too much sodium, saturated fats, and sugars. We can also see from the charts we do not have enough intake of vegetables, fruits, and total grains.
You can also learn more about healthy eating and make a printout of a useful diagram as a reminder of eating healthy at Harvard T.H. Chan.
5. Take Care of Your Bedroom, and Home to Take Care of Yourself
Our home can be a reflection of our minds. The more cleaned, well-organized, and kept together they are, the better our minds and our feelings toward ourselves can be.
Over time, it’s easy to forget about cleaning our home, and it can get to a point where our homes can make us sick. We can fall ill due to allergies, from food poisoning, or from pollution of some sort.
Much of our lives can be out of our control. What we can control is what is in front of us, and our home is arguably the closest to something we can improve.
Clean the clutter. Organize your bedroom for cleanliness and beauty. Make your bed a place for sleep and sex. Take good care of yourself because you deserve it. At least from there, whenever we have a bad day, we can always come home to somewhere great.
For more information and insights on decluttering your home effectively, check out ZenHabits.
6. Listen to Others and Help Them When They’re in Need
We as humans are social creatures. Without love and support, we suffer terribly. When we socialize and interact with others, we learn from one another and can contribute to each other’s’ lives. The health benefits are real, especially for our mental well-being and self-care.
Fortunately, there are a lot of ways to socialize. You can use social media tools to arrange times for phone calls and meeting in person. You can also visit a local community center or join local social and hobby groups. Who knows. You might find a friend or two for life.
This might seem obvious. Sometimes we need a reminder. It’s easy to let your inhibitions and impulsiveness take ahold of your day. It’s also easy to begin eating unhealthy, sleeping late, sit in front of a computer all day, let your home become a mess, and isolate yourself socially. We know these are inherently wrong. There’s no question about it, yet somehow we lose control.
That’s ok. Dust yourself off and start doing things that make your life better. Whenever you fall off the wagon, you can ask yourself three questions:
Pick a hot spot in your life, like your relationships or career. Ask yourself where are you now?
Where do you want to be?
What obstacles might be in your way, and what can you do about them?
Asking yourself these questions (maybe in the form of a journal entry like self-care tip #1) can help you break cyclical unhelpful behaviors that make our lives a little worse each day. It also makes you think and find solutions instead of focusing on any negativity that can be holding you back.
When you start taking action and doing things to make you better, we might run into some resistance. What we do might not be perfect, could be wrong or it might not work out, but at least we won’t be in doubt about ourselves.
Final Thoughts on Self-Care
It’s easy to forget the few essential things we can do to truly take care of ourselves. We hope this mini-guide serves as a reminder of the simple things we can do today to make our lives easier, better, and more enjoyable.
Meet the Author
This post was written by Brian Ferret. Brian is a sleep enthusiast who enjoys a good bedtime story. He is on a mission to create awareness on the best practices for sleep. His goal is to educate others on how they can sleep better so they can live happier, healthier, and better lives. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter to learn how you can improve your sleep. You can also visit his website at MySleepyFerret.com.
Self-care should start in the home. If you have a home that makes you feel positive, then every day will begin and end on a positive note. A lot of people struggle with self-care because their home is a manifestation of negative energy. Then, the negative energy keeps piling more and more negativity on their shoulders every day. We want to stop this, so here are a few very simple home hacks you can try that will put you in an extremely positive mindset.
Get More Sunlight In Your Home
Sunlight is incredibly beneficial, and it works in more than one way. We know that we can get some Vitamin D from the sun, but unfortunately, it’s not possible to absorb this through windows. However, the main benefit I’m concerned with is how the sunlight makes us feel. It instantly puts us in a good mood when sunshine/daylight is entering our home. This isn’t some crazy scientific discovery, it’s common sense! You will feel far more positive when you let sunlight into your house compared to if you have all the curtains closed and live in darkness.
So, I have two tips for you. Firstly, open the curtains or blinds in every room as soon as you wake up. Secondly, think about maybe getting some replacement windows so you can upgrade them to bigger and wider versions. This will help your home bring in more light, putting you in a much better mood. You could even consider those windows on the ceiling that really bring loads of natural light into your home. Trust me, this little trick will definitely help you get into a more positive mindset while you’re at home.
Use A Diffuser To Create Relaxing Scents
The smells in and around your home will play a significant role in how positive you feel. This is something that you perhaps don’t think about until you actually make efforts to create nice smells. My idea is to help bring relaxing scents into the home, so you smell them and feel a lot calmer and more chilled out. Get a diffuser of some sort – it could be an electronic one or a classic reed diffuser – and pick your favorite smells. Place the diffusers throughout your home to really bring it to life and make it smell a lot nicer and more relaxing. Slowly but surely, your house becomes somewhere you actually like being in, and you become more positive.
There are other ways of bringing nice smells into your home – such as candles and incense. However, I prefer diffusers as it means you don’t have to burn anything and let smoke into the air. Plus, the oils you use with diffusers are often used in aromatherapy practices and when people are meditating. You don’t need to have one in every room, but I think the bedroom and living room are great places to create these relaxing and soothing smells.
Bring More Space To Your Home By Decluttering
I think too many of us create negative energy in our homes by letting them become overcrowded and cluttered. It’s hard to feel positive and upbeat when your house is a bit of a mess and you feel very claustrophobic. Every morning will begin with you wanting to get out as soon as possible, being stressed that you can’t find the things you need, and creating more clutter in the process. In your head, every day will be the thought that you have to clean your home at some point, and this lingers all the time adding more stress. So, why don’t you tackle the problem head-on and have a massive decluttering session?
Yes, it can take a few days, but the benefits outweigh all the effort that goes into doing it. I’d genuinely suggest taking a day or two off work so you can declutter your home thoroughly. You will get rid of any junk and mess that you don’t need, freeing your house up and creating loads more space. The result is quite staggering; it will feel like you’ve moved into a new home. With more space, more room to breathe, and increased organization, your house becomes a much more positive place to live.
I’ll end how I started by saying that self-care starts in the home. If you can get yourself in a positive mindset at home, then this will generally help you live a more positive and happy life. You need to have a base where you can relax and feel satisfied, not somewhere that adds to your negative feelings. With these three ideas, you will turn your house into an ultra-positive place!
This post was written in collaboration. Collaborative writing means that while I have contributed to this post and edited its content and formatting, I am not its original author. By posting this content on my blog, I receive financial compensation. Want to guest post for Jihi Elephant? Learn more here.
Living in a western society isn’t straightforward if you’re a woman, the system isn’t gamed in our favor. Guys get the chances and opportunities, and it reflects in the way men and woman view one another. We’ve all been caught in a spiral before, stuck in a rut with seemingly no way out, and it’s a nasty feeling. These emotions only strengthen over time. But, pitying oneself isn’t the answer. The key is to take control of your life and better your lifestyle, and only you can make the changes. The truth is, it’s quite easy to feel empowered. Just take a look at the advice below if you’re a non-believer.
Staying Clean is Empowering
Not to reinforce female stereotypes, but because a tidy and clean environment is an easy way to declutter the mind and feel accomplished. For one thing, dirt and grime are health hazards and make the body feel tired and run down. I don’t know if you’ve tried to, but attempting to be less self-conscious is almost impossible when you lack the energy. The second point is a mental one. Renting Canning Vale storage units seems as if it shouldn’t have an impact on the brain, yet it does. Being tidy around the house encourages the mind to throw out the mental clutter that has been dogging you for weeks. Think of it as an example that the brain will follow.
Go “Half-Total”
What does “half-total” mean? It refers to drinking, but instead of giving up completely, you cut down. We all understand the negative impacts of drinking too much alcohol. There is the inevitable emotion of anxiety as you try to remember what you said to whom and if you embarrassed yourself the night before. Plus, waking up with a hangover isn’t a positive way to start the day. Cutting down, then, act as a catalyst to exercise and tick things off the bucket list. And this is empowering. But, don’t quit entirely because a glass of vino can be a perfect stress-reliever at the end of a hard day. If cutting down on alcohol isn’t for you, try applying this same idea to unhealthy foods or other bad habits!
Forgive & Forget As A Form Of Empowerment
Let’s not gloss over how harmful stress is to the average human being. Releasing tension is essential if you are going to keep blood pressure low, and exercise is the usual helper. However, working out isn’t an option for all of us as time is precious and the days short. Forgiving, therefore, is a simple solution. The reason we hold on to pent-up aggression is that we can’t let go, yet being magnanimous can help us to forget.
Ask Yourself, Who Cares?
Women have to deal with a constant level of scrutiny. Every time we leave the house, we have to look our best to ensure there are no snide comments. This attitude means our appearance can reduce empowerment. Thankfully, there is a basic fix, and it’s the question in the subheading. Who cares whether you aren’t wearing makeup today? As long as it isn’t you, then there isn’t an issue. Typically, we build up problems in our head that don’t exist.
What are the empowerment tips that help you get through the day?
This post was written in collaboration. Collaborative writing means that while I have contributed to this post and edited its content and formatting, I am not its original author. By posting this content on my blog, I receive financial compensation. Want to guest post for Jihi Elephant? Learn more here.
It really is amazing what words of kindness can do in the life of a complete stranger. I am wholeheartedly a supporter of positivity, and you should be too. Simply acting and speaking positively can make such a huge difference in both your mood and the mood of those you come in contact with. This post includes 25 positive quotes to help you remain positive on a bad day!
Positive Quotes
I love collecting quotes. My favorite type of quotes is positive and encouraging quotes. The following are positive quotes I have collected for my own personal use. Quotes are great to post around your house, draw up and frame, write on sticky notes in your planner, or really for anywhere where you will see them regularly. I highly recommend picking some of your favorite quotes here and posting them in your home!
Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. -Helen Keller
Don’t let little stupid things break your happiness.
Don’t dig up in doubt what you planted in faith. -Elisabeth Elliot
Whatever the present moment contains, embrace it as if you had chosen it yourself.
Be soft, do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Be in love with your life. Every minute of it. -Jack Kerouac
Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. -Joshua J. Marine
Past does not equal the future. It does not matter that you failed yesterday, or all day today. What matters is what are you going to do, right now?
More Quotes To Love!
Every experience, no matter how bad it seems, hold within it a blessing of some kind. The goal is to find it. -Buddha
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light. -AlbusDumbledore
None of us come to this earth to gain our worth; we bring it with us. -Sheri L Dew
One small crack does not mean that you are broken, it means that you were put to the test and you didn’t fall apart. -Linda Poindexter
What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t happened yet.
Choose happy.
Choose to be optimistic. It feels better.
Let your past make you better, not bitter.
The one who falls and gets up is so much stronger than the one who never fell.
You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.
Let’s Just Stay Positive
Explain your anger, don’t express it, and you will immediately open the door to solutions instead of arguments.
Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.
Every time you get upset at something, ask yourself if you were to die tomorrow, was it worth wasting your time being angry.
Your faith can move mountains, and your doubts can create them.
The darkest nights produce the brightest starts.
Smile often, thing positively, give thanks, laugh loudly, love others, dream big.
Which of these quotes is your favorite? Let us know in the comments!
Self-care has become one of the most defining terms of the past five years. As more and more people have sought to reclaim their busy lives and center in on their health and well-being, self-care has risen to prominence in a way that has never been seen before. Here are some self-care fundamentals you can enjoy every day.
Intro to Self-Care Fundamentals
Despite this widespread acknowledgment of the benefits of self-care, some people have yet to truly make a switch and embrace what self-care can offer them. One of the most common reasons for this is concerns about time. Often, self-care is described in terms that make it sound very time consuming — take the night off, go to a spa, read one book per week — and, sadly, some people just don’t have the free time available to allow for those behaviors.
Thankfully, there are ways and means of embracing self-care without having to sacrifice half of your diary to the endeavor. Self-care, at its most basic, is about improving every day of your life in small, but noticeable and beneficial, ways. Below, you’ll find a few ideas for self-care fundamentals that can help give you the boost you need to finally be able to embrace self-care once and for all.
Use Basic Products That Bring You Joy
There are some things in life that we have to do every day, without fail— so why not make them as pleasant as possible? By choosing products that you use on a daily basis that genuinely make you happy, there’s a little moment of joy in even the simplest of functions. For example, choose your favorite fragrance for your bath melts, a softer towel to use to dry your hair after a shower, or a cute notepad to record your to-do list in. These little touches allow you to make even the most mundane of daily tasks that little more special. In so small a way that you wouldn’t even notice it from the outside, these are incremental improvements that will make your life better.
Go To Bed Earlier Than Normal
Sleep is perhaps the ultimate when it comes to self-care. We are all able to be the very best versions of ourselves when we have slept well, so “treating yourself” to an earlier bedtime can feel indulgent and luxurious, and have significant benefits for both your health and your mood. Take the time to ensure that your bed is as comfortable and welcoming as possible, too; opt for beautiful cotton pillowcases and use a latex mattress as a comfort layer so delightful you’ll actively look forward to collapsing into bed every night!
Talk About Nothing Of Importance
When was the last time you spoke to someone about… nothing? Just idly chatted about things that were going on in the world, a shared hobby, or just observations about your lives? For many of us, the last time we spoke to a loved one for no specific reason is a very long time ago— our conversations are usually expected to be more productive, making decisions and discussing particular issues. Make a little time to talk with a friend, via text message or email if necessary, about nothing in particular. Just relax and natter with one another, enjoy each other’s company, and not feeling like there’s something to be accomplished from the conversation. Sometimes, talking about nothing at all can be one of the most rewarding things you can possibly do.
Laugh More
Laughing is inherently good for us; the more we laugh, the better we feel. Interestingly, the laughter doesn’t have to be genuine— fake laughter produces the same mood-boosting effects as genuine laughter. To make the most of this odd biological quirk, set aside five minutes in the day to laugh to yourself about nothing at all— you’ll be amazed at how good it makes you feel. Concerned you’ll feel self-conscious if someone overhears you laughing to yourself? Don’t worry: do your daily laughing in the shower, as the water should drown out your faux mirth.
By taking the time to engage with these self-care fundamentals, you have made important inroads that can genuinely benefit your life. You can use these fundamentals as a starting point for greater development of self-care, or — if you really don’t have the time for more — you can see these as a baseline that will help establish your happiness every day of your life.
This post was written in collaboration. Collaborative writing means that while I have contributed to this post and edited its content and formatting, I am not its original author. By posting this content on my blog, I receive financial compensation. Want to guest post for Jihi Elephant? Learn more here.
It is so incredibly easy to fall into a slump of anger, sadness, or anxiousness. The world can be so depressing and hard to deal with. If you are in a slump or looking for something to brighten your mood, check out these 20 positive quotes!
Brightening Quotes
“Life is better while laughing.”
unknown
“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free.”
thich nhat hanh
“Your mind is a powerful thing. When you fill it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change.”
anonymous
“Just because you are happy it does not mean that the day is perfect but that you have looked beyond its imperfections”
bob marley
“Smile often, think positively, give thanks, laugh loudly, love others, dream big.”
unknown
“Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.”
albert schweitzer
“Stay positive, work hard, and make it happen.”
anonymous
“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”
groucho marx
“Kindness is a wonderful way to let another struggling soul know that there is still love in this world.”
“Be kinder to yourself and then let your kindness flood the world.”
pema chodron
“The darkest nights produce the brightest stars.”
anonymous
“I’m choosing happiness over suffering, I know I am. I’m making space for the unknown future to fill up my life with yet-to-come surprises.”
elizabeth gilbert
“Happiness is not the absence of problems it’s the ability to deal with them.”
unknown
“Hey little fighter, soon things will be brighter.”
anonymous
“Choose happy.”
unknown
“Regardless of how anyone else feels about me, I am going to choose to be happy and completely love myself today.”
unknown
“I am in charge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness.”
unknown
“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”
albus dumbledore
Positive Quotes
“If you want happiness for an hour—take a nap, If you want happiness for a day—go fishing, If you want happiness for a year-inherit a fortune, If you want happiness for a lifetime-help someone else.”
chinese proverb
“Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.”
winnie the pooh
“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
abraham lincoln
“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”
buddha
“Happiness is a warm puppy.”
charles M. schulz
Conclusion
Not all of these quotes are perfect for every person who reads them. I hope that you have found some quotes that resonate with you. These quotes are meant to brighten your mood and help you find happiness. Keep these positive quotes as reminders in your journal, on your desk, in your locker, or in your planner for when you are feeling down.
Self-care is a big deal and should be taken seriously. If you are not going to invest in yourself and your happiness and fulfillment, then what will you invest in? The following products are great investments to help amplify your regular self-care regimen.
Massage Tools
Most people don’t have the money nor the time to head out to a masseur when they get a bit of pain or tension in their back. However, you can still fix the problem and feel the benefits of a good massage by investing in a massage ball. A massage ball is just one of many self-massage products that you can find on the market right now, so why not try it out for yourself?
Another great investment in yourself is to Journal. Journals are fantastic for helping you process your thoughts and clear your mind of stress. When you take the time to sit down and process things in writing, you will get a better perspective on the things happening in your life. Here are some of my favorite journaling tools:
You spend hours of every day sleeping in your bed. The mattress you sleep on will, therefore, have a big impact on how you feel throughout the day. With the right support, you will surely feel better. ChooseMattress is a mattress brand that will help you to have fewer aches and pains each day. The condition of your spine is vital, so do yourself a favor and make this upgrade sooner rather than later.
Self-Care Candles
Scented candles are perfect for relaxation, so why not invest in some for yourself? You will really benefit, and it makes those moments of relaxation in your home even more relaxing and enjoyable. We all know that those moments are few and far between when you lead a busy lifestyle, so why not make the most of them? I LOVE candles and recommend them to everyone. Read more about setting up a relaxing bath for the ultimate self-care experience here.
Fitness Gear
If you really want to be kind to yourself, you should try being physically active. To make it that little bit easier and to give yourself some much-needed motivation, you should buy yourself some fitness gear. Becoming physically active is one of the most beneficial forms of self-care because it not only strengthens your body, but it also strengthens your mind!
Looking after yourself sometimes comes at a price, and what better thing to spend money on than your mental health and happiness? Each of these tools will help your wellness in different ways, so be sure to make the most of them next time you want to treat yourself.
This post was written in collaboration. Collaborative writing means that while I have contributed to this post and edited its content and formatting, I am not its original author. By posting this content on my blog, I receive financial compensation. Want to guest post for Jihi Elephant? Learn more here.
In some ways, you could consider self-love to be the same as self-esteem. However, self-esteem tends to be more about how competent and effective we feel we are. Whereas self-love is more about acceptance and loving ourselves just the way we are.
In society today, we expend a lot of energy looking to external solutions to fix internal challenges. For example, we hit the high street with our credit card for some retail therapy to compensate for any rejection or loneliness we feel inside.
Then, on a more extreme note, we can find ourselves spending hours searching for the best personal loan companies to buy material things to “keep up with the Jones.’”
In addition to material things, we often look to another person to feel loved. As John Gray (author of Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus) puts it, we first need to fill ourselves up with self-love, so that we are overflowing, rather than clambering onto our partner, in dependence. Like two thirsty people in an arid desert trying to squeeze love out of the other. Such a situation is a recipe for codependency. It is sure to lead to an unfulfilling retaliatory relationship where love is offered and received almost on a transactional basis.
When searching to feel loved, it is easy to end up chasing people that do not value us. It can sometimes become almost addictive. This chronic state of neediness comes from a place of low self-worth and low self-esteem. This lack of self-love is where we are not able to value ourselves enough to feel comfortable; meaning we look to others to fill us up.
The truth is that nobody can ever truly love you until you truly love you.
As trite as it may sound, the only way to feel truly happy is to have inner happiness, and that happiness or self-love will not come from getting the latest and greatest. It will come from being happy with who you are, as a person, and grateful for the life you have.
Self-love could be re-phrased as self-acceptance. When you accept yourself as you are right now, and love yourself just for being you (despite your flaws, despite your failures, and despite your past poor decisions) your life truly begins to open up. Unfortunately, it sometimes takes a mid-life crisis or traumatic divorce to break us down. A bit like Humpty Dumpty, to allow us to build ourselves back together, we need glue (aka self-love).
Louise Hay, one of the world’s leading experts in this area of self-love states:
“To me, love is a deep appreciation. When I talk about loving ourselves, I mean having a deep appreciation for who we are. We accept all the different parts of ourselves—our little peculiarities, the embarrassments, the things we may not do so well, and all the wonderful qualities, too.”
One way to learn to love yourself is to practice self-care. Some ways to practice self-care include yoga, take a bath, meditate, and Journal. Learn more ways to practice self-care here.
How do you practice self-care?
This post was written in collaboration. Collaborative writing means that while I have contributed to this post and edited its content and formatting, I am not its original author. By posting this content on my blog, I receive financial compensation. Want to write a post for Jihi Elephant? Learn more here.
It is time to take back control. This could be your finances, your home, your fitness, your career, your anything—your everything. Here is a list of tips, tricks, and bits of advice that could help you take back control in your life.
There is nothing more magical than seeing the world through a kid’s eyes. It’s that unabashed Disney outlook where everything is possible and nothing – nothing – is out of reach. You can be who you want to be, live where you want to live, think beyond the confines of everyday logic. You chase dreams so wild you go from being a ballerina in space to a friendly dinosaur that just wants to own his own coffee shop in the castle grounds.
But as we get older, this magic starts to fade and we start to realize there is no pot of gold at the bottom of the rainbow, there is no tooth fairy and that none of us has much control over our own lives.
Well, using the motivation that is the month of January, it is time to make changes relating to anything and everything you feel the need to take back control of in your life. It could be your finances, your home, your fitness, your career, your anything—your everything. So, here is a list of tips, tricks, and bits of advice that could help you slay the dragon and finally embrace that childlike wonder we all wish we had never let go of.
1. Have a Regular Sleep Schedule
Sleep until you feel fully-rested which, you may or may not want to accept, is 7-8 solid hours a night. Some of you may be looking at those numbers and telling yourself that you need at least 10 hours, but that will be feeding into your feeling fatigue. It is not just about getting seven or eight hours, though. It is about getting into a regular routine so that your body knows when it is bedtime when it is time to get up and that the full forty winks have been had. To get all sciencey, it is about allowing your brain to maintain a “healthy circadian rhythm”. Sleep the first step to having more structure and order and this translates into control. A regular sleep schedule is great for time management, read more here.
2. Scare Yourself Every So Often
Baz Luhrmann may have been a tad excessive when he said, “do one thing every day that scares you,” but he was certainly onto something. Life is a terrifying place, it is. It has to be. After all, we are mortal. But, all too often, our fears prevent us from doing the things that we may love; the things that we want to do and achieve. But fear is nothing more than a projection in your mind and very different from danger, so once you get into the habit of facing your fears, you’ll find they have no control over you anymore. That’s when you’ll find wings appear on your back and the self-imposed cage around your mind disappears, leaving you to be as free as you like.
3. Take Back Control of Your Home
We mean this in every sense possible. If you have kids and their toys have started to take over every single room in your humble space, then dedicate a day to cleaning up and create a playroom for your kids.
If you think you have some pests, then it could be time to call in the rodent control professionals. Or if your home is just cluttered, then it is time to start organizing what you have. Mess causes stress. Not only that but the more stuff we have, the more we are shackled to it. We start feeling like the clutter owns us instead of us owning it.
4. Stick to Renting
We live in a society where we feel we should own the home we live in. There are financial advantages to home owning. But there are also big advantages to renting. For example, you know exactly what monthly costs are going to be; no baseline interest rates going up, no emergency repair costs to do battle with, nothing. Owning a home simply means having 515% of your net worth tied up in a single investment. If, however, you rent, then you can diversify your investments. Basically, owning a home – or anything for that matter – means owning a fair amount of responsibilities and obligations too.
Also, when it comes to taking back control of your life, the chance to move somewhere new and change your life at a moment’s notice is something that shouldn’t be overlooked.
If you want to take back control of your life – like really take it back – then you need to stop wasting time on the rabbit hole that is social media. It is a time-vacuum. It sucks up the most valuable commodity any of us have. Instead, you should use the time you spend on social media to do something else, something worthwhile, something that is enjoyable.
Think about the last time you were scrolling mindlessly through social media. It wasn’t even fun. Don’t get us wrong, there are some amazing benefits to social media, such as chatting to friends and staying in contact with distant loved ones, but you should not be on there, for no reason. Check it once a day and then look up and live.
6. Save What You Can, When You Can
Magic can happen when you have some money tucked away. You could be treating yourself spontaneously without sleeping with regret from your spending. You could go on holiday with your friends, or buy your loved one a surprise. Having money in savings means financial stability, and that means a huge amount of stress has been lifted.
Saving is all about living beneath your means to prioritize other things in your life. It becomes less about making money and more about being able to have experienced. However, to really make this work, I recommend making your savings automatic. Take the temptation to spend and out of your hands by setting up a process where money leaves your current account and enters your savings account automatically without you even noticing. That’s the best way to be sure you are saving regularly.
7. Drop Anything You Do Not Need
We all own things we do not need and we all do things that do not add any value to our lives, so, what you ought to do is to get rid of these things. Get rid of all those objects that are taking up space and tying you down. Stop going to those activities you may have once enjoyed but no longer do. Cut ties with anyone in your life that is chock-full of negativity. Life is too short to do things that do not make you happy and there certainly isn’t space to do things that make you unhappy. Instead, focus on making room for the things that are important to you. Make time, make space, and make emotional energy for these things. You will find yourself in a much better headspace if you do.
8. Make Choices – Take that Control
There are very few things that are set in stone, physically impossible, and totally lock you down. You more often have a choice. You have the chance to say you can do something instead of thinking that you cannot. You also have the chance to say no to something, regardless of your reasoning. It is all a matter of choice and knowing what you want.
Break the cycle of automatically saying you cannot do something and you will find that you are in a way more control of your life. That is the trick though. You have to take the time to pause and think, you have to sit down and think about what your options are, what choices you have and then deciding based on those. Do not allow yourself to automatically think something is impossible; that is a surefire of losing your control over your life.
Now that you have more tools in your belt to take control of your life, pick one and implement it today!
This post was written in collaboration. This means that while I have added to this post and edited its content and formatting, I am not its original author. By posting this content on my blog, I receive financial compensation. Want to write a post for Jihi Elephant? Learn more here.
Meditation is one of those commonly misunderstood forms of self-care. This post will talk all about meditating to stay calm and to lessen anxieties during the holidays.
The holidays are a hectic time full of great times, but also full of stress and anxiety. It can sometimes be hard to stay calm and avoid these feelings. When experiencing holiday anxiety or stress it is important to find a way to combat it. There are countless ways to do so, one of the most effective forms of holiday relaxation is meditation and mindfulness.
What is Meditation?
Meditation is often thought of as a religion. While it is used by religious people and has ties to religions such as Buddhism, on its own it is not a religion. A good resource for learning more about meditation, or self-examination, is Gaiam. Gaiam states, “Meditation is an approach to training the mind, similar to the way that fitness is an approach to training the body.”
So, meditating is all about your mind. There are many ways to meditate. One way that we will focus on is mindfulness meditation.
How Meditation Will Help Calm During the Holidays
Mindfulness meditation refers to a focus on experiencing what is going on. You focus on your body and your mind and you become aware and mindful of your surroundings and how they influence your body and your mind. Learn more about how to practice mindfulness meditation here.
So how exactly will self-examination help to keep you calm during the holidays? Well, it’s like yoga (in fact, yoga is a form of meditation really), so it allows you to be aware of how you’re feeling. And the more you practice it, the more in tune with yourself you will become.
Once you can recognize the incoming holiday stress or anxiety, you will be able to then practice self-examination to counteract those negative feelings.
Meditation Using Yoga
Yoga is most definitely my favorite form of meditation. Yoga places a huge focus on breathing and being aware of what you are feeling in your mind and in your body. Finding time in your schedule to do some quick yoga is super beneficial!
One of my favorite yoga practices is done at home. YouTube has a plethora of yoga videos, but Yoga with Adriene is my go-to. I particularly enjoy her 30-days of yoga challenges.
Now that you know a little bit more about meditation, check out 30-days of yoga challenge and get a FREE printable to track your mental and emotional progress.
With the hustle and bustle of the Holiday season, it’s easy to allow yourself to become overwhelmed with everything on your to-do list and everyone who wants to spend time with you. it’s during this time that we tend to neglect ourselves the most. For that reason, I have a collection of holiday self-care practices perfect for the occasion.
Holiday Baths
A bath is one of my favorite ways to decompress around the holidays. You just cannot go wrong by relaxing in a hot tub with some bubbles and a candle. To set up the perfect bath for relaxing, head over here! Perhaps for this season, mix it up with a holiday or Christmas bath bomb or candle scent!
Create A Relaxed, Cozy Environment
Another great way to practice holiday self-care is to make sure your environment instills calm, cozy, and relaxed vibes. There are a ton of ways to do this, but ultimately, it is whatever works best for you. You might turn up the heat, dim the lights, light a candle, curl up with a blanket, or make some hot cocoa. You can read more about getting that cozy Christmas feeling here.
Have Somewhere to Escape to
If you’re over-worked, stressed, or introverted, one of the best ways to practice holiday self-care is to ensure that you have somewhere you can escape from the hustle and bustle of people and the never-ending to-do list. Take some time each day or even week away from everything stressing you out and be by yourself. Your escape can be anywhere and you can do anything when you are there. For me, I escape to my bedroom each night where I curl up in my blankets and watch some of my favorite YouTube channels. This is my holiday self-care escape. Where do you like to escape to during stress?
Brief Yoga or Meditation
Perhaps yoga is not for you, but meditation and yoga are great ways to take your mind off holiday stress and decompress. When you find yourself feeling tense, stressed, or overwhelmed, take a minute to be in the present. Take a walk or do some yoga and just be. Head over here to read more about using meditation during the holidays.
Say No
One of the biggest and most important on this short list of holiday self-care practices is practicing saying no. During this time of year everyone is doing so many things and it can be so incredibly overwhelming. Being able to turn down requests is probably the most effective way to de-stress and take care of yourself this holiday season. If you take nothing else from this post, please practice saying no and be aware of your limits. If you have taken on too much, do not take on any more, and ask for help! There is no shame in turning your projects or tasks into group endeavors.
This is a very brief list of holiday self-care practices, I’d like to know how you manage your holiday stress and take care of yourself. Let me know if the comments below!
What is happiness? Happiness is a phenomenon, emotion, or state of being we all strive to achieve. Here are 10 ways to promote happiness in your life.
What is Happiness?
There are a million ways to define happiness.
“Be happy. Be bright. Be you.”
The dictionaries define happiness as
Delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing; OR Characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, or joy (Dictionary.com).
OR
A state of well-being and contentment; OR A pleasurable or satisfying experience (Merriam-Webster).
Others define happiness as fully enjoying all that you are and that is around you.
Despite the definitions, everyone experiences happiness differently. Some might become giddy or feel bubbly inside. Others might experience overwhelming emotions or even tear up. Others simply smile or feel joyfully content. There is nothing wrong with experiencing and expressing happiness your own way!
But, you’ve come here looking for ways to be happier. So, without further ado…
“Being happy never goes out of style.” – Unknown
How to be Happy
Happiness is as much a choice as it is an involuntary emotion. Let me explain.
You might often feel happiness without choosing to. For example, if a friend surprises you with something you love, you would most likely feel happiness automatically. You probably don’t have to remind yourself to be happy about the surprise.
However, you can also choose happiness. During trials and difficult times where you would automatically become sad or frustrated, you can instead choose to feel happy. I am, by no means, saying that you should feel happy instead of these other emotions (because it’s healthy to let yourself feel these emotions too), but it’s an option.
“Don’t let the silly little things steal your happiness.” -Unknown
Take Breaks
Taking breaks is so important. These days we are so busy that we completely neglect to allow ourselves some good old-fashioned downtime. Feeling depressed, overwhelmed, sad, stressed? Take a break, treat yourself! You deserve it.
Taking breaks is so much more important than you realize. Taking some time out allows both your body and your mind a reset or reboot. If you are constantly going and jam-packing your body with caffeine, your body, and your mind will eventually give out.
If I do not take time off of both work and blogging each week, I burn out mentally and end up sick. This is no fun. But if I take some time to myself and practice some self-love while I’m at it, I feel refreshed and energetic!
Not sure how to fit downtime or self-love into your busy schedule? Check out my 30-day self-love challenge that incorporates quick and simple self-love practices into every day for 30 days straight!
“There is sunshine in my soul today.”
Give More
Helping others has always and will always be a huge influencer of happiness. When you help others, you feel better about yourself. You feel happier. Even if what you are able to give is only your time or services. Maybe you share a sandwich with someone who forgot their lunch or help a neighbor carry their heavy groceries into their house. Trust me, you’ll feel great!
“Always Smile.”
Exercise More
I don’t really need to explain this one. We hear it all the time, exercise, exercise, exercise. It’ll make you healthier and this is why it’ll make you happier. Yes, it’s exhausting, and yes, it’s difficult. But at the end, you’ll have accomplished so much, and you’ll feel happy about yourself.
“Happiness is made, not found.”
Meditate
Meditation is so beneficial, but it a little bit of a taboo for some. Let me clear the air. You do not have to be religious to meditate. There is actually no one way to practice meditation.
Some people enjoy taking quiet walks to clear their mind by focusing on sights and sounds. Others practice yoga meditation where there is a focus on clearing the mind through breathing and stretching. Or maybe you’ll simply sit quietly for a few moments focusing on your breathing.
Meditation simply allows you to clear your mind of everything that is overwhelming your or stressing you out. It’s not for everyone, but I practice this each night before bed and it allows me to get to bed quicker and start each day new. It doesn’t remove stress, but it allows me to look at my stress more logically, instead of panicking.
“There are two ways to be happy: change the situation, or change your mindset towards it.”
Eat Better
I do not believe that I need to go into detail on this one, same as exercise. We hear all about how eating healthier is so great for your body and happiness. Those people are right. In all honesty, I do not eat right, and I can feel it making me groggier and more miserable. When I do eat healthy though, I feel amazing. I sleep better, I make better decisions, I feel better–I am happier.
“Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s perfect. It means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.”
Drink A Lot of Water
With eating healthier, you ought to drink more water. Not only is it great for your skin, but it’s great for your attitude. Again, I won’t go into details, because we all know this is true. I’m here to simply remind you to drink water because it’ll make you happier.
“I choose to be happy today.”
Socialize
No, when I say socialize, I don’t mean you must constantly be around people. I’m an introvert, so I know that for some people, spending a lot of time around people is exhausting.
However, it is not healthy to hermit all the time (however tempting it might be). If you’re constantly hiding out on your own without human interaction you are going to get depressed.
So, to combat this, just get some socialization regularly. This could be anything from going out to the bar with some co-workers, to a night in with your family. Socializing doesn’t have to be complicated.
Here are some ways for the introvert to socialize!
Go into the bank instead of using the ATM
Strike up conversation at the grocery store check out
Go visit or call some family and just catch up
Happy a close friend over for the evening
Go out in public – anywhere (sometimes being in the presence of people is enough)
Go get coffee with a friend or co-worker
Spend some time at the water cooler at work
Attend a study group or tutoring session
“Surround yourself with those who make you happy.”
Be Positive
For some people, this is easy or natural, but for others, it’s incredibly difficult. I’m a naturally positive person; however, when I am stressed, I am a massive negative-Nelly. Being negative (especially when I am already stressed) does me absolutely no good.
If I am in a bad mood, or even if I’m not in any kind of mood, forcing myself to think about the positive eventually turns my mood around.
Fake it till you believe it.
“Think positive and positive things will happen.”
Practice Gratefulness Regularly
Gratefulness is healing. I can’t think of a better way to explain it, except to share a blurb from my own personal gratefulness story.
I was in a low point in my life, by ‘low’ I don’t mean living on the streets or anything the phrase implies. I mean that I was struggling with a huge transition and a lot of anxiety. It was at this point I decided to start a gratefulness art project. Each day I would write down several reasons that I was grateful. Anything counted, everything I thought was written down.
When you sit around thinking about all that is going wrong, all that is awful, or all that you wish was different, naturally, you will feel sad or angry. But, if you spend your time thinking about all that is going well and all that you enjoy about your life, naturally you will begin to feel happy!
“The key to being happy is knowing you have the power to choose what to accept and what to let go.” -Dodinsky
How Planning Ahead Can Make You Happier
Nothing is worse than the moment you realize that you’ve forgotten to plan for something, causing you to rush around like a chicken with its head chopped off. These scenarios are immensely stressful and can reduce happiness. The only way to reduce this stress, ultimately increasing your happiness, is to plan for it.
Planning ahead does wonders for stress. I highly recommend, and will always recommend, getting or making a planner. Personally, I use bullet journals because they are far more customizable. If you’d like to read more about different ways to get organized check out A Practical Guide to Time Management + Productivity, a guest post I wrote.
“HOW TO BE HAPPY: decide every morning that you are in a good mood.”
It’s not always easiest to be happy, but by following these guidelines, it should be a little easier to do. I hope you enjoyed these guidelines! What do you do that makes you happy??
I’ve titled this post ‘My Gratitude Journey,’ though it is mainly about a piece of artwork I spent a year creating and the story behind it. Warning, I have to get a little vulnerable to tell this story.
The Back Story
I’d like to start from the beginning. I was in a toxic relationship which ended in November—though he continued to harass me until I went to Cambodia in January. On my way to Cambodia I lost my phone, and with it, his demeaning text messages. I then spend 3 weeks in Cambodia exploring and learning about the culture. A lot of this trip was spent learning about human trafficking both in the country and in the world. I spent time with women, men, AND children who had gotten themselves out of sex slavery. I also witnessed a lot of poverty and kindness throughout this trip. (If you’re interested in learning more about my trip, I wrote about it here).
The trip was the easy part though. Arriving home was incredibly difficult for several reasons. First, cultural reintegration kicked my butt! Getting used to carrying a phone around again, going back to class, listening to people complain—it was all incredibly overwhelming. So much so that I found myself experiencing incredible anxiety every time my phone went off and angry every time someone complained. The second reason getting back in the United States was hard, was my ex-boyfriend. He started contacting me again, and admittedly, that is probably why I became so scared of my phone. I had to turn it on silent because every time it made a noise or vibrated I felt panicky, and counseling didn’t seem to be doing me any good.
The Project
It was at this point that I felt the need to begin practicing gratitude. I couldn’t tell you what inspired the actual execution of my gratitude project. I don’t know if I had been browsing Pinterest, or if I had walked by the art building and had seen something similar. Not sure. But I decided to fill a large 18 by 24 size paper with things I was grateful for. The catch was to make it aesthetically pleasing. I wrote each word in a different handwriting and in all different sizes in a silver ink.
Every day I began adding a few more items that I was grateful for. I found myself writing down more than the indented 3 items a day for the first month or so. Eventually, I began feeling better, not only about myself but about life in general. It was amazing because soon enough I found myself hanging out in my room dancing to some fun music and writing new words on my project. My fear of my phone started to fade, as I began putting my phone back to vibrate and did not cringe or experience anxiety when I’d get a notification. PROGRESS!
The Point
You might be wondering why you should be interested in my story. Well, really the story is about overcoming difficulties by using gratefulness practices. If I can do it anyone can do it. Gratitude is so powerful! When you sit around thinking about all that is going wrong, all that is awful, or all that you wish was different, naturally, you will feel sad or angry. But, if you spend your time thinking about all that is going well and all that you enjoy about your life, naturally you will begin to feel great! I chose to share my story with you as an example of the power of gratitude.
I’d love to hear about your gratitude journeys, tell me about them in the comments below!
Meet Elizabeth!
Meet Elizabeth! Elizabeth is the creator and writer here at Elizabeth Journals. In addition to creating for ElizabethJournals, she is a full-time graduate student studying clinical mental health counseling. She started Jihi Elephant to share her experiences, spread organizational tips, and promote positive living. Elizabeth is an avid bullet journalist, dabbling artist, and houseplant fanatic.
You can also read more about the origins of Jihi Elephant and its creator here.
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